Dictionary for women's personal ads

 40-ish                  =  49

Adventurous           =  Slept with everyone

Athletic                  =  No tits

Average looking      =  Ugly

Beautiful                =  Pathological liar

Contagious smile    =  Does a lot of pills

Emotionally secure  =  On medication

Feminist                =  Fat

Free spirit              =  Junkie

Friendship first       =  Former "very friendly" person

Fun                       =  Annoying

New Age                =  Body hair in the wrong places

Open-minded        =  Desperate

Outgoing               =  Loud and embarassing

Passionate             =  Sloppy drunk

Professional           =  Bitch

Voluptuous             =  Very fat

Large frame           =  Hugely fat

Wants soul mate     =  Stalker