INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded fromBoyfriend 5.0 toHusband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly underBoyfriend 5.0.

In addition,Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5andPersonal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as
NBA 5.0,
NFL 3.0and
Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, andHousecleaning 2.6simply crashes the system.
Please note that I have tried runningNagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate.


DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind,
Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command:ithoughtyoulovedme.html, try to download Tears 6.2, and do not forget to install theGuilt 3.0update.
If those applications work as designed,Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applicationsJewelry 2.0 andFlowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can causeHusband 1.0 to default to

Grumpy Silence 2.5,Happy Hour 7.0, orBeer 6.1.
Please note thatBeer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download theFarting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do,DO NOT under any circumstances installMother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall theBoyfriend 5.0-program. This is an unsupported application and will crashHusband 1.0.

In summary,Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend
Cooking 3.0 and
Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck!